Step No. 3 - Surprise the family pet and revel in its startlement.

Tilley (1993-2007), post-surprise.

This one I can't actualise, as I live in an apartment and have a schedule not conducive to being a good pet owner. However, I can encourage others to follow through.-Ed.

Very early on I learned that sneaking up and surprising older relatives with an errant hand on the shoulder or loud noise held the distinct possibility of sudden death (heart attack for the victim, death by consequence for the doer). This instead cultivated the allure for sneaking up on the family pet (a dog and later a cat) while they slept. It involved making a loud noise, like a barking sound, while firmly but gently jostling their back and belly. Their reaction ranged from mild annoyance with a look of withering scorn, or a yelp, full body spasm, and quick retreat with tail between legs.

Very early on this provided the gratification I needed when none of my siblings were around to pester. Should there be any accusations that I'm espousing animal abuse, I will deny all responsibility and blame it on my latent youth.